帮我翻译.

If you kiss her,you are not a gentleman......If you don't,you are not a man.........

If you praise her,she thinks you are lying........If you don't,good for nothing........

If you agree to all her likes,shi is abusing......If you don't ,you are not understanding.........

If you make romance,you are an 'experienced man'........If you don't you are half a man.........

If you visit her too often,Shi thinks it is boring........If you don't,She accuses you of double crossing.....

If you are well dressed,she says you are a playboy......If you don't,you are a dull boy.........

" O LORD,tell me what to do.AMEN"

you kiss her,you are not a gentleman......If you don't,you are not a man.........
你要是亲她就不绅士，要是你不亲就不是男人

If you praise her,she thinks you are lying........If you don't,good for nothing........
如果你夸奖她就是在撒谎，如果你不夸奖，没好处

If you agree to all her likes,shi is abusing......If you don't ,you are not understanding.........
如果你老顺着她，她就会虐你，如果你不顺着她。。你不懂。。

If you make romance,you are an 'experienced man'........If you don't you are half a man.........
如果你来浪漫的，你是个有“经验”的男人，如果你不会，那你只是半个男人

If you visit her too often,Shi thinks it is boring........If you don't,She accuses you of double crossing.....
如果你看她看的太勤，她就会烦。如果你不看，你就麻烦了

If you are well dressed,she says you are a playboy......If you don't,you are a dull boy.........
如果你穿的太体面，她会说你是个花花公子。如果你穿的不体面，她说你是个无趣的人

当男人真难啊。。。。

如果你吻她，你是不是一个君子… …如果你不，你不是一个人.........

如果你赞美她，她觉得你是说谎........如果你不是，没出息........