UC知道我的英文自我介绍说的正确吗?高手指点.
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/06 08:28:10
my name is kater.I am 21 years old.my home town is sichuan.my mejor is computer.my hobby is swiming basketball movies and english.I was a supervizer two mouths ago.I have worked hotel servec apartment for 1year .I want get a better job.so i"d like to go your hotel work.Also i hope you give me a chance .I belive i can do it .my intreduce is over .thank you !
你的这段又不是英语口语,一听就是Chinglish.不要老是用I／ My 做主语，很单调的．这样说吧
Hello！First please allow me to introduce myself, my name is Kater, i am 21 years old. I was born in Sichuan. Computer is my major/I major in Computer. My hobby includes swiming, basketabll, movies and English. I worked as a supervizer in a hotel two month ago, where i was in hotel service apartment for one year. Now i am planing get a better job. and your hotel is my first choice, hopefully you will offer me a opportunity. I believe i can do .That is all! Thanks!
建议:多用一些连词(例如：and 等)，这样文章会有意思的多...