UC知道英语强的帮帮忙，修改下（包括语境错误）谢谢了
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/23 17:17:42
英语强的帮帮忙，修改下（包括语境错误）谢谢了
LOVE IS EVERYTHING
You are my sunshine ,you are my angel.
While i close my eyes,your lovely smile takes up in my mind. My suffering is to disappear.
You are my life ,you are my soul.
While you stand in front of me ,my heart will sing for you.
You are my moonlight,you are my star.
While i walk in the darkness,you can light my way and my heart ,and bring me far away from loneliness.
If you are happy ,i'll be happy.
If you are sad,i'll take the sadness away from you .
No matter how far we live .
No matter what happens.
Whether you know me or not,
My heart won't be changed forever,
My love will be prepared for you forever.
Because love is everything.
我昨天修改了一遍，不知道还有什么错了？帮帮忙。
LOVE IS EVERYTHING
You are my sunshine ,you are my angel.
While i close my eyes,your lovely smile takes up in my mind. My suffering is to disappear.
You are my life ,you are my soul.
While you stand in front of me ,my heart will sing for you.
You are my moonlight,you are my star.
While i walk in the darkness,you can light my way and my heart ,and bring me far away from loneliness.
If you are happy ,i'll be happy.
If you are sad,i'll take the sadness away from you .
No matter how far we live .
No matter what happens.
Whether you know me or not,
My heart won't be changed forever,
My love will be prepared for you forever.
Because love is everything.
我昨天修改了一遍，不知道还有什么错了？帮帮忙。
写得相当不错，感情也相当真挚。加油and best wishes！
When (While这个是连接延续性动词的，而close是瞬间动词）I（ i应该大写，下同）
When I close my eyes,your lovely smile takes up（去掉in） my mind. My suffering is to disappear.
and take（bring） me far away from loneliness.
No matter how far we live . 这句表述不清，是汉语的直译：这句意思是无论我们住的多远，这个可以是两个人住在很远的地方啊，并没有表明是相隔很远。故：No matter how far away we live from each other，这个应该用逗号
My heart won't be changed forever, 这个应该用句号，另外可以用那就歌词替换：My heart will go on.
My love will be prepared for you forever. for前最好加个only