哪位高人能帮我看下这份简历,有什么改善的地方?

RESUME

Name:XXXX Zou School:Sichuan University
Sex: Male Major: Chemical Engineering and Techniques
Email: XXXX@126.com Mob: 01388XXXXX Graduated: July, 2009 Excellent Health
Hobby: Basketball game, Traveling, Music

Self intro
Warm initiative, full of passion, good at communication and has strong affinity with the coordination capacity.

LANGUAGE LEVEL
CET - 6, to a skilled listening, speaking, reading and writing

Computer Abilities
Proficient in the operation of Excel, Word and such kind of office software effectively
Good at AutoCAD drawing software

AWARD
CET-4&CET-6 certificate,
The first-rate enrollment scholarship
The third-rate scholarship of the school

EXPERIENCE
1.commissary of the dormitory in charge of organization;
2.worked as sales assistant in a travel company du

提些意见，不要介意

第一部分不需要分类戴冒号(Name:/School:)，直接写就行了，一样占一行，Major和Graduated紧跟学校，可以写B.S in 或者 B.A in..
Email照原样留着，很好。不要Hobby

Self intro
A passionate person with warm initiatives, who has excellent communication skills and strong affinity with the coordination capacity.(其实我不知道你coordination capacity指的是什么，如果你愿意补充中文我可以试着换个说法）

Computer Abilities
Proficient...不要effectively
Good 换成 Skilled in

EXPERIENCE
每个job 写职位，加日期， 再介绍职责
1. Served as....
4. Organized sales promotion。。。 根据你要申请的工作写最合适的兼职

几点意见：

1，Experience改为working experience,更清晰一些

2，first-rate, third-rate?你这是想表达什么？？二、三等奖学金吗？正确的译法应该是：first-class, third-class.但我一般的译法都不这么译，直接翻译为：award "the best student" and acheive full enrolment scholarship.

3, 建议把Hobby划到最后，不要前置。

4，如果是应聘，能使用WORD，EXCEL这些就别说了，显得你水平太差。这点都拿出来说，证明真没什么好说的了，还不如别说。AutoCad这些软件倒可以说说，最好还能吹一吹用AUTOCAD做过什么项目。

就这么多吧。

姓名： XXXX的邹学校：四川大学