UC知道托福作文找茬
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/16 02:05:57
拼命找茬就好,越多越好,无论是哪方面的
Topic: people attend college or university for many different reasons(for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Response:
The issue of why people attend college or university is obviously a highly controversial one and it is usual that different people have very different ideas. To gain new experiences and increaseing knowledge are certainly sounding reasons but in my point of view, people receive college education mostly for the preparation for future jobs.
With the fast developing of industry and society and the tremendous growing of population, competition in career opportunities is increasing sharply. In most of the cases, having a well known university’s diploma means one can get a better job. On the contrary, the one who doesn’t have one may have really a slight chance of getting a job of
Topic: people attend college or university for many different reasons(for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Response:
The issue of why people attend college or university is obviously a highly controversial one and it is usual that different people have very different ideas. To gain new experiences and increaseing knowledge are certainly sounding reasons but in my point of view, people receive college education mostly for the preparation for future jobs.
With the fast developing of industry and society and the tremendous growing of population, competition in career opportunities is increasing sharply. In most of the cases, having a well known university’s diploma means one can get a better job. On the contrary, the one who doesn’t have one may have really a slight chance of getting a job of
无责任评价,你这作文更像一个雅思作文.
托福作文更需要直截了当,你的第一段那么长,但到了最后才说到了你的point,这不是什么好习惯，有这点篇幅，你大可把主论点和分论点都说的清楚明白。
至于中间的段落，其实也有类似的问题，第二段和第三段的头一句都没什么意思，并不是说这两句没有用，而是你本来段落篇幅就不长，一共4句话就用了一句话来做引文，太浪费了，这样也造成你的全文无法有足够的篇幅深入探讨，基本每段就只有一层意思。 其实中间三段的第一句你没必要一定要用多流畅的方式来起承转合，就简单明确的First,Second,Third就ok了。
最后，你的篇幅还是偏短，最好增加50-60字，论述还是显得单薄，信息量少。
托福作文是很死板的，美国人不像英国人讲究客观公正起承转合，他们甚至让步都很少做，除非你能写道400字以上，否则尽量扣紧你的主题，论述上段与段之间最好有逻辑关系。
我托福作文考出来是28分，大作文400多字，小作文也有300多字。
个人觉得写的还可以
不过有一点TOEFL作文超级强调DETAILS
感觉DETAILS不够 总是在说道理 没有实际的例子
OG上的评分标准也有说明