UC知道写了篇雅思大作文，请高手帮忙改一下并判个分~再过两星期就要考试了
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/08 19:50:48
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, a growing number of parents aim to cultivate their children to be professional in sports and wish them to be a sports star in the future .This tendency largely dues to the fact that successful sports professionals earn far more money than people in other important professions. Some people claim that it is unfair that sports professionals earn a great more money, whilst other people believe that that is justified. In my eyes, that sports professionals enjoy a higher income than other occupations is reasonable.
In the first place, sports stars can bring in a great econom
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, a growing number of parents aim to cultivate their children to be professional in sports and wish them to be a sports star in the future .This tendency largely dues to the fact that successful sports professionals earn far more money than people in other important professions. Some people claim that it is unfair that sports professionals earn a great more money, whilst other people believe that that is justified. In my eyes, that sports professionals enjoy a higher income than other occupations is reasonable.
In the first place, sports stars can bring in a great econom
6分-6.5分
总的讲不错了，复杂句写的也可以，可能词汇方面还有一点欠缺，可能看些雅思8分作文来不及了，不过可以再记些经典句子，套用一下。
如果考试时候字迹很漂亮的话，可能有印象分哦！
加油啊！考试时候好好发挥！
保守估计应该是5.5-6分
就结构来说 你似乎应该把第一大段分成两部分 第一部分要来个导入嘛。。。。
结构不好会扣掉很多印象分的 、
内容上没有什么亮点 很普通的论点
还有 词汇不丰富 MORE AND MORE。。。。就别用了吧 。。。。
6.5-7