UC知道哪位可以帮忙修改评点一下我的雅思文章，谢谢啦
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/14 22:23:17
There are more and more multi-cultural societies with the globalization. Australia and USA exemplify societies of this kind. Then, some people started to explore the advantages and disadvantages in terms of the trend. As far as I am concerned, benefits may outweigh drawbacks.
Diversity and openness are the highlight of societies with different ethnic peoples. People in multi-cultural societies have different customs life styles and values, which may, to some extent, influence each other. It is very likely to people, especially children living in such environment, to absorb something superior in culture. What’s more, multi-cultural societies themselves are more open and dynamic than those single-cultural societies. They tend to welcome and easily accept something new, which determines that more people prefer to join in them and more innovations will be found there.
The drawbacks in societies with a mixture of diffe
个人小小意见
第一句好像有点语法错误，改为 Nowaday, multi-cultural societies are increasing in an astonishing speed with the process of globalization,and Australia and USA are prominent examples.
第二句不用then吧
It is very likely to people, especially children living in such environment, to absorb something superior in culture. 这句不能to people，用for吧。very likely 改 more easy貌似好点。
What’s more, multi-cultural societies themselves are more open and dynamic than those single-cultural societies. 最后这个改成 single-cultural ones会比较顺
They tend to welcome and easily accept something new, which determines that more people prefer to join in them and more innovations will be found there.参考一下这个 Their acceptation for innovation makes them the very places that attract people.
To sum up, multi-cultural societies benefit a lot in economy from their diversity while conflicts among different ethnic peoples coexisting. However, conflicts can also be found in single-cult