请问这语句是否通顺,该如何修饰?

如果是分手想说的话你应该这样说
I`ll concentrate all my effort on my jobs not you
I`ll begin my newly life without you anyhow
and I donnot wanna think too much of our relationship anymore
The time can heal everything, time can change everything
Anyway, wish you will be happy in the rest of your life.

第一句语法错误应该是：I'll keep working hard working on my job.
第二句怎么是without you ?
第三句好像是中国式的英语
第四句也不通顺
最后一句是好的

不通，太不通了。
第一句如果被有点邪念的想歪了就更坏啦！

如果是分手想说的话你应该这样说
I`ll concentrate all my effort on my jobs not you
I`ll begin my newly life without you anyhow
and I donnot wanna think too much of our relationship anymore
The time can heal everything, time can change everything
Anyway, wish you will be happy in the rest of your life.
回答者： maggieyoyolee - 试用期 一级

这位说的好。。有点儿诗歌的味道，用来分手人家还觉得你的才倍儿棒倍儿棒的》。。呵呵~

第一句：I'll keep working hard on my job.
第四句：不知道你要表达什么意思，反正现在的肯定是不通的
别的还算通顺