大家来看看，（特别是英语老师们）提提修改意见！

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/06 18:34:08
这是我刚刚写的，帮忙看看有没有不合适的地方，修改内容或语句都可~ Once a river loves a beautiful piece of cloud, but she thought nothing about it，Went away with a song singing happily. From then on, there is a reflection of a piece of cloud in the middle of the river.
As time goes by, the river went into two little stream. One of them went down a high hill and became a beautiful waterfall, crashing into huge rocks, it turned into mist. When it began to look for the cloud once it had loved, it changed into water vapor and disappears in no time.
Another stream kept going east. Days past fast as wind, it reached the sea. That night, a thunder passing by saw the piece of cloud once the river had loved, and force it to rain. The piece of cloud cried horribly, it turned into tears and fell into the sea, I don't know if she had looked for the river that loves her. I don't know if the river which became a stream later had looked for the tears which were beautiful clouds high in the sky.
不介意有兴趣的可

第一句话就语法错误。。。。时态时态时态！！怎么一句现在时一句过去时。
Once up a time, a river fell in love with a beautiful piece of cloud. 后面这个but she thought nothing about it? 首先没这么说的，再者 she 是指谁？ cloud 还是 river? 直接用she在这里造成主语混乱. 还有thought nothing about it你是想表达云不知道啊，还是云不在乎啊？两个意思都不应该在这里用think nothing about it.
The cloud flew away as she sang happily.

真的不太好改，有中文还差不多，因为英文的错误太多了有时候都不知道你想表达的是什么意思。再改改吧自己。至少注意主语统一，时态统一，语法。

写的还行，没什么错。

不错不错~~~但你要把一些语句改的更优美就更好了！

Once UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A BEAUTIFUL CLOUD FLOWING IN THE SKY FREELY. DESPITE THE LOVE OF A RIVER, THE CLOUD FLEW AWAY WHILE SINGING A SONG IN DELIGHT.From then on, a reflection of THE piece of cloud REMAINED in the middle of the river.
As time WENT by, the river went into two little stream. One of them went down a high hill and became a beautiful waterfall, CRASHED into huge rocks, AND turned into mist. When it began to look for the cloud once it had loved, it changed into vapor and DISAPPEARED in no time.
Anothe