求助!帮我修改我写的雅思作文

来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/06/08 15:04:26
我英语水平很烂,又很少写作文,但快要考雅思了不得不写。我憋了好久才写出一篇,我都看不下去了,希望有高手能够帮我修改一下。希望详细点,我会加分

题目是 some people hold the view that the best way of reducing crimes is to prolong the crime sentence . others ,however, think that there are better alternatives to reduce the crime rate. Discuss both sides and state your own opinion.

In contemporary society,the problem of crimes is becoming increasingly severe.in the meantime, Whether to make heavier punishment to the criminals has sparked spirited controversy.some people assert that the most effective way to decrease the crime rate is to aggravate penalty while many others contend the opposite view. To my mind , I side with the latter view.

It is manifest that there are numerous manners to control crime rate . in the first place, raising people’s awareness of the law is significant . many people don’t really know much about the knowledge of the law, thus, they are more likely to commit crime. Moreover , the government should increas

我建议你到你那的雅思学校找个老师给你改,比如环球雅思或者新东方,我帮你改的话,肯定没有老师改的那么专业,而且有的东西老师不仅可以改出来还可以教你以后怎么避免再错

不懂