UC知道没事自己写的，麻烦各位帮我看下问题在哪。
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/07 21:01:06
A sunny day,
my heart is in dark night.
The sun laughed when the moon was crying
They are in the sky.
The reason why she cried was that i lost this feelings.
I wanna have a real life.
A sunny day,
you crossed a cloud that was white.
I falling in love but you didn't find.
Please left my heart and close that door.
I will give you the best wishes that is goodbye
Back to the memories,you are in my eyes.
I trust that you will come back
My love,you can if you try
Baby,you are a wonder in my life
Let's fly a kite with our pleasant smile.
我已经是黔驴技穷了。。还请各位指导！
my heart is in dark night.
The sun laughed when the moon was crying
They are in the sky.
The reason why she cried was that i lost this feelings.
I wanna have a real life.
A sunny day,
you crossed a cloud that was white.
I falling in love but you didn't find.
Please left my heart and close that door.
I will give you the best wishes that is goodbye
Back to the memories,you are in my eyes.
I trust that you will come back
My love,you can if you try
Baby,you are a wonder in my life
Let's fly a kite with our pleasant smile.
我已经是黔驴技穷了。。还请各位指导！
The reason why she cried was that i lost this feelings里面的this改成these
I falling in love but you didn't find里面falling的形式不对应该是fell
Please left my heart and close that door.里面left形式也不对，应该为leave from
My love,you can if you try 这种表示希望，幻想的句子一般用虚拟语气，应该是My love,you could if you tried
整体来说很不错~~不过看的出来有些句子为了押韵，就写的有点不是那么地道~~但是还是很棒！加油！
一个晴天，
my心脏是在黑暗的夜。 当月亮哭泣， The太阳笑了
They在天空。
The原因为什么她哭泣是我丢失了这感觉。
I想要有真正的生活。
A晴天，
you横渡了是白色的云彩。
I坠入爱河，而是您没有发现。
Please留下门的我的心脏和关闭。
I将给是再见的您最好祝愿回到记忆的，您是在我的眼睛。
I信任您将回来 如果您尝试， My爱，您能
Baby，您是奇迹在我的生活中
Let飞行与我们宜人的微笑的一只风筝。
没翻译出来的就是你的问题
第三句的“when”改成“while”较好~第五句最后的“this”改成“these”；中间的falling要么前加was，要么改成过去时fell；Please后面的left改成leave~希望对你有帮助~呵呵~