请帮我看下我写的文章有没有不通顺的地方

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/02 01:40:52
My name is Judy.I claim to be a detective.
I'm 13 years old.
I like Sherlock Holmes.
I like the movie star are Nicolas Cage.
let me give you a joke.
Mother give Billy two Yuan.
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answer.
"You're a good boy,"
"Here you are two Yuan more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is selling candy."

My name is Judy. - 没问题。

I claim to be a detective. - 你想说“我想当侦探”？最起码应该说“I want to be a detective”，或者“My dream is to be a detective”。

I'm 13 years old. - 没问题。

I like Sherlock Holmes. - 没问题。

I like the movie star are Nicolas Cage. - 应该是“The movie star I like is Nicolas Cage”。英语里，“我喜欢的影星”，应该把“影星”作为主语放在最前面，修饰它的东西（也就是“我喜欢的”）放在主语后面。而且Nicolas Cage只是一个人，是单数，要用is而不是are。

Let me give you a joke. - 应该是“Let me tell you a joke”。讲笑话要用tell。

Mother give Billy two Yuan. - 应该是“Mother gave Billy two Yuan”。按照英语习惯，所有的故事都是发生过了的事，所以故事中叙述性的文字要用过去式。而且，吹毛求疵一点，Billy是个外国名字，Yuan是中国货币，你把Yuan改成美元的dollars（也就是“Mother gave Billy two dollars”）比较符合逻辑。

"what did you do..." - 没问题。但是最后最好加一句“Said mother”或者“Asked mother”，表示说这话的是妈妈。

"I gave it to a poor old woman." He answer. - 前半句没问题。最后应该是“Billy answered”或者“Answered Billy”。过去式，原因我已经解释了。而且因为上一句是妈妈说的，这里就是Billy说的。

"You're a good boy" - 没问题。后面也