UC知道09年12月20日雅思大作文 请大侠们指正和评分 谢谢~！！
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/09/24 03:37:42
Nowadays some organizations and charities publicize their activities by introducing special days every year like national children's day and non-smoking day. Why do they introduce special days and what effects does this have?
Write at least 250 words.
Signatures and symbols are flooding to our society everywhere,so special days naturally come to emerge either to memorise a particular event or set up milestones for specific progress along the road of developing.The phenomenon in its original purpose is worthy appreciating,nevertheless,it's often manipulated distortedly by mass organizations.
Naming a common day by adding meaningful contents just as "International AIDS Day "does have reasons to stand and the followings showed in three aspects:On one hand,communities need concrete interpretations for some unusual occasions to leave marks in the long river of history,thus organizations walk out and meet the demands of the society.For inst
Write at least 250 words.
Signatures and symbols are flooding to our society everywhere,so special days naturally come to emerge either to memorise a particular event or set up milestones for specific progress along the road of developing.The phenomenon in its original purpose is worthy appreciating,nevertheless,it's often manipulated distortedly by mass organizations.
Naming a common day by adding meaningful contents just as "International AIDS Day "does have reasons to stand and the followings showed in three aspects:On one hand,communities need concrete interpretations for some unusual occasions to leave marks in the long river of history,thus organizations walk out and meet the demands of the society.For inst
Signatures and symbols are flooding to our society everywhere,so 表示"因此"这个含义,尽量不要用"so"这个词,因为这个词很口语化special days naturally come to emerge either to memorise a particular event or set up milestones for specific progress along the road of developing.The phenomenon in its original purpose is worthy appreciating,nevertheless这个词前面要用分号,因为它是介词,不是连词,it's often manipulated distortedly by mass organizations.这个应该是主题句吧,可惜,后面的论点都没有支持这个句子.
总结,LZ的语言功底不错. 但是标点符号不够注意,写作的结构还不符合英语的习惯.例如,收段有TS,但是body没有支持这个TS."have reasons to stand and the followings showed in three aspects:"这里不建议用冒号,除非你打算把三个方面在一个段落里简要说完. 记得要扣住题目的要求,回答"Why do they introduce special days",建议给出回答这个问题的关键词,例如"reason". 其实这里题目问了两个问题, 写两个body段就可以了.
写得很不错啊 呵呵
雅思作文而言 用词到还好 结构方面不太规整吧…