帮我改改错误,谢谢~~

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/24 09:46:39
I have almost two years of working experience in designing, I can both speak good spoken English and mandarin, I have a wide range of interest which includes drawing, music, etc.
The design software I can operate:Photoshop,CorelDraw,AutoCAD,3dMax
Because I have a real confidence in myself, So I urgently crave for dear sir can recruit me, I will prove my ability and test my will to accept all the new challenges for rewarding I would be employed by you.
有没有什么语法错误就行了,我的目的是能让老外看得懂就可以了,并不是发表什么论文/

I can both speak good spoken English and mandarin

should be:

I have good communicaton skills with both oral english and mandarin.

看起来你的语句是简历上用的，整体的语句用法感觉比较生涩。 建议你多看一些英语招聘的job description，然后仿照里面的语句去更新一下你的简历。上面我提出的只是一个小小的觉得不好的地方，整体来说，你的这段话需要再做大的修改才能更加圆润，更加英语化，而不是Cnglish. 仅此建议，不喜勿听。

The design software I can operate:Photoshop,CorelDraw,AutoCAD,3dMax

should be:

The software design tool I can operate includes: Photoshop,CorelDraw,AutoCAD,3dMax

And

because 和 So 不能连用。 而且前因和后果没有必然联系。你觉得你自己有信心，但是不能成为人家雇用你的理由。语义上有问题。