请英语高手看看我给老外写的信 有语法错误吗 谢谢

Dear Sir/Madam,
I beg you could resend the mail which I failed to receive. The date of the mail might be on 5th January, 2009, I think. Meanwhile, the address is on the six self-addressed mailing labels. Thanks.

Yours sincere ###

你的翻译太中文化，而且句子太长，不太符合外国人的日常交流习惯。最后那个“地址没错”我觉得多余的，没必要写进去。后面那句我也没怎么看懂，所以照抄了。

上楼的翻译不错的，就是有一点最好把要求对方做的事写在开头，原因放后，这比较符合西方的文化要求。

Dear Sir or Madam

Can you please resend me the mail of 1/5/2009, for I failed to receive the attachment, my address is the sixth of the address column. Thank you!

你是不是想说你的地址是地址栏的第六个名字？

Dear Sir or Madam，
I fail to receive your email with the additional documents on 01/05/09. Would you please send it again? (The address must be right. The address is on the six self-addressed mailing labels .我不知道你这里讲的什么意思。。。) Thank you!

Yours sincerely

好长的一句从句…