我想死，考托福3次都没过，我好无能

it's really not a big deal.
I had the test for four times though I passed all but just need a higher score.
Did you ever attend some classes for the TOEFL test, like New Oriental? If not, try it.That will be a big help.
Or you have to do lots of reading, the Delta, Kaplan, or OG are not enough. Try to do more readings,not necessarily hard, but should be sufficient.
And, listen to the CD or tape about the listening and speaking parts anytime. No matter you are really listening or not, be sensitive about the sound and speed. (That's how I get 30 in listening part, I couldn't understand all of them as well, but just get a environment of English)
Also, be confident, that's the key.
出国是一条很艰辛的路，既然你选择了这条路，就要有勇气面对，无论将来遇到什么。TOEFL对于你来说只是这条道路上的第一个坎儿，也意味着是最简单的。所以垂头丧气绝对不是你现在应该有的情绪。
有些人不太理解我们为什么要有这么大的决心，一心想要出国学习。其实无所谓，别人怎么想是别人的事情。我们做好自己就足亦。
一次不行就来第二次，两次不行还可以有第三次，第四次，还有很多，很多次。只要我们的信念还在，路就在。我们终究有成功的一天。
想想当你T考过之后，申请学校成功，站在新的一片土地上接受和国内完全不一样