由于英语汉歧意造成的笑话，英文的

一个外国人去一家中国公司办事，与前台小姐的英语对话，下面是原文：
小姐：Hello.
老外：Hi.
小姐：You have what thing?
老外：Can you speak English?
小姐：If I not speak English, I am speaking what?
老外：Can anybody else speak English?
小姐：You yourself look. All people are playing, no people have time.
老外：Anybody here can speak English?
小姐：Shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing?
老外：I want to speak to your head.
小姐：Head not zai. You tomorrow come.

有一天，俺商店里来了个外国人买西餐料。他选好一样东西，俺就在计算器上摁出价钱给他看。当然俺有点不好意思了，而且俺还会句英语。
于是 ，俺就对他说：

“I am sorry”。
“I am sorry， too” 外国人回答。
“I am sorry three” 我道。
“What are you sorry for?” 外国人问。
“I am sorry five” 我说……

Are you kidding?(你在开玩笑吗？)
No, I'm serious.(不，我是认真的……)

翻译错误：
你是凯丁吗？
不，我是西里斯……

you can wait you wait, you can't wait you go
你能等就等，不能等就走……

you don't bird me, i don't bird