跪求 英语幽默小短文 300词的！！！！！！！

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JUST THE FACTS
James Canton, CEO of The Modern Northern Electrical Corporation, refused a seventy-eight percent pay raise because the company lost over eighty million in the last quarter, causing a lay off of thirty percent of its' work force.

He commented that although it will be a hardship on his family and mistress, they will have to make due with his twenty-two million dollar salary.

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Let's not forget Mr. Johnny Backer who was stopped at the border when a drug-sniffing dog alerted the authorities. They thoroughly searched the truck, and finding nothing, apologized to the driver.

The confused criminal muttered that he must have left the cocaine in the other truck. He was arrested after the police searched his other van finding over forty pounds of the illegal powder.

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From Mississippi we receive word that the police