is the part english ok ?

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/01 22:04:21
Anyone help to better my English ADs ?
i am not sure the following words correct or not , check it for me ,please !

Congratulations!
You can write to other users now ! But your profile will not appear on our website until you upload your photo and get approval.
Please upload your photo Asap. When you log in, your profile will be placed at the front of the list as long as your profile gets approval.
Do log in often to make more users can find you !

is it ok to add "it' before "get appproval
? better ?
It is OK except for the following:
"When you log in, your profile will be placed (at the front) on top of the list (as long as) provided your profile gets the approval.
Do log in often to make more users (can) find you !"
or, for the last phrase:
The more often you log in the better are your chances to be found by people!

The words I put in brackets should be eliminated. I left them

well, maybe you can make it like this : "But your profile will not appear on our website until you upload your photo and get it approved".

And you can add a "the" before "approval" in the third paragraph.

At last try to delete the word "can" in the last sentence,like "Do log in often to make more users find you !"

better without ‘it’, but instead of approval, use ‘approved’，that is, in all other cases in the above paragraph

also change the last sentence to: Do log in often so that more users can find you.

good luck :)

until you upload your photo and it gets approval