自己写的一篇TOFEL作文，大家点评一下

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/03 21:58:24
The reason for people attending college could be many,
but I think the following are the most critical ones:
learning useful knowledge for preparing a future proffession,
creating a widely interpersonal relationship and earn communicating
skills.
The most important thing people do in college is study. Nowadays
society is full of competitive. At college, people can learn new skills for careers with a lot of opportunities. An erudite knowledge helps them easier reach their goal.
In addition, students go to college for creating a widely interpersonal relationship. As we live in a complex community, we have to build up astrong relationship among different people. That exactly what we can do in colleges. In the colleges, we meet different people, talk to different people and increase the relationship. And they'll be more or less
helpful in our future life.
Besides, the communicating skills is also a considerable reason for attending

词性错误和其他小错误很多，一定要留时间检查，否则小错误可能使得分数下降一级。
句式要灵活贴切。比如 At college, people can learn new skills for careers with a lot of opportunities.应该改成At colege, people get access to numerous opportunities to learn new skills, allowing them to get more prepared for their career.
另外对于高难度词汇的运用一定要准确，否则不仅不会加分还会扣分。比如Erudite是用来形容人的而不是形容知识的。An erudite person是对的，而An erudite knowledge应该改成 A comprehensive scope of knowledge.
又比如and increase the relationship应该改成thus consolidate the relationships。因为thus的逻辑比and清晰，consolidate或者其他词汇比如enhance都比increase更贴切。
还有写错了地址应该it doesn't mind。或者it doesn't matter。
最后结束段开头不要用According to these。用In all, By and large, In a word, In conclusion, In sum, In summary, To summarize, Therefore都更好。如果非要用According就用According to the above said reasons。因为these指代不清。
锦上添花的可以多用些地道的简单词汇。比如for your life 改称lifelong，或者多用非谓语动词， 这样可以省掉很多to,for短语。总是写XXXXX to xx或者XXXX for xx显得不地道。