帮忙将这篇英文中的语法错误找出来?

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/25 21:08:24
Discusses the long-term management mechanism about developing anti-mosquito standards work thoroughly and the consolidation of the achievement .Reviewed methods which anti-mosquito standards work used in Shenzhen, summarized its successful experience and the insufficiency, then proposed the countermeasure. Anti-mosquito standards work is government's responsibility, it’s take the multi-department's highly effective cooperation as the premise, need the community and the inhabitants participate positively, and take eliminating or improving breeding sets as the basis. We need constructs the mosquito-building facility comprehensively, establishes the persistent effect control system, in order to guarantee that controls continually

除了语法错误,用词不当,累赘,中式英语的地方最好也找出来,并希望给出合适的词句,详细些最好!..给出俺仅有的分的将近一半,谢谢诸位啦
我的心在等待,永远在等待~~~~

1.原文：Discusses the long-term management mechanism about developing anti-mosquito standards work thoroughly and the consolidation of the achievement.
1) 因为强调“长效管理机制”而略去主语是汉语语法常见的现象，但英语得用被动语态表示，译文需要调整成“长效管理机制被探讨”：
The long-term management mechanism is discussed.
2) “城区深入开展灭蚊达标工作做法及巩固灭蚊成果的”若用“about…”这个介词短语直接跟在“长效管理机制”后作后置定语，就会出现虎头蛇尾（主语部分过分长于位于部分）的凝重现象，所以不妨用非限制性定语从句放在句后表述，使句子平衡，整句调整如下：
The long-term management mechanism is discussed，which is about …
3) “城区深入开展灭蚊达标工作做法”的译文是否改为“(about) the methods of developing the work for reaching the standard to wipe out mosquitoes in the city zone”
其中：
城区：in the city zone;
达标工作： work for reaching the standard；
灭蚊：wipe out mosquitoes
4) 修改译文如下：
This paper discusses the long-term management mechanism，which is about the methods of developing the work for reaching the standard to wipe out mosquitoes in the city zone and about the consolidation of the achievemen.

5) 以上是就事论事的分析，但是这里的片断可以是一篇文中