【又一篇雅思task2高分求改】！高手请进！

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/17 01:25:06
题目： Many old building are protected by the law because they are part of a nation's history. However, some people think they should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

To preserve ancient cultures, governments all around the world are establishing laws which protect old buildings. Some people, however, point out that the development of modern cities should not be thwarted by old buildings. As for their assertion, I agree with their proposition, but with reservation.
Initially, it is development not history that really determines the future of a society, so compared with the increasing demand of urban houses and offices, these old buildings are obviously less important. A study conducted by UNESCO reveals that in cities where ancient buildings are still occupying city centers, commerce trends to be less active. If that is true, keepi

1.开头两段我改了一下。
To keep abreast of the 21st century,large numbers of houses and offices are being built to offset the great housing shortage due to high birth rate and to meet the demand of an increasing number of staffs.By this,many old buildings which are protected by the law have
become a subject of debate.Some people regard them as a barrier that standing in the way of progress,whereas others believe it is important to maintain them because they are an essential part of a nation's history.For my part,I would like to support the assertion that the development of modern cities should not be thwarted by old buildings with reserve.（有无保留是with/without reserve）
2.commerce trends be less active
改为tends to
3.第四段
Moreover, protecting old buildings by laws is not a reasonable but a superficial way, for the key point of keep the ancient cultures alive is to assimilate ancient cultures into the modern ones rather than just to forbid people to destroy these old