请给我的托福作文评评分吧(要公正)

来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/05/15 07:41:43
Question:agree or disagree that people do challenging work happier than easy job?
Essay:With the development of the world, more and more optional jobs have emerged into our sight. Some people firmly believed that an easy job can lead them to a more stable living condition with an adequate income. Neverthless, to work as an innovator which is
fulfilled with challenge may tremendously offer us enjoyment. This essay will examine whether working as an active role will contribute more to our happiness than an easy job.

Challenger can often absorb more wisdom and knowledge as an rewarding of their great pressure under the job-experience . But these people are more likely to gain the satisfaction and happiness from their struggling. In contrast, easy jobs can bring a person relaxing but not a meaningful day.

Statistics show that most celebrities’works accompany with challenges .They can enhance rapidly through the mental wishes and upset challenges. Meanwhile,

1.字数不太够吧?
2。首段末尾最好能够明确提出你的观点,不要让ETS看完了还不知道你支持什么反对什么。
3。在我看来,第二段和第三段想表达的意义是一样的。而且两段都没有什么specific的内容。不要光顾着讲道理,举些具体的例子嘛~
4。语言什么的倒是没有什么太大问题。

建议:打回重写