看看这几句英文句子对不对

make him become successful不太好，可改成lead him to success
然后是insist on it,你要表示的是坚持下去永不放弃，我觉得用keep trying比较好吧

把它翻译过来,你就知道错到哪里了:

他被吸引了。 他在它附近坐了并且开始玩它。 没人教了他前面，但是他可能玩它! 他也感觉非常愉快。 或许它是命运。 从那以后，托尼开始秘密地弹钢琴。

I赞赏托尼非常

，当他看见了钢琴，他是傻的关于音乐

Talent、努力和坚持不懈使他获得成功。

From托尼，我学会，无论不幸我们现在是，一天，我们将发现属于我们的世界。 不要坚持它和放弃。 我们将成功

He was attracted. He sat around it and began to play it. No one taught in front of him, but he might play it! He also felt very happy. Perhaps it is fate. Since then, Tony began to secretly playing the piano. I appreciate Tony is very, when he saw the piano, he was silly on the music, Talent, hard work and perseverance made him a success. From Tony, I've learned, whether we are now, unfortunately, one day, we will find that belong to our world. Do not insist on it and give up. We will succeed in

好的，文章言简意赅，很有味道。语法也没啥大问题。

Perhaps it was the fate.

I appreciated Tony very much

ma