★高分作文修改

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/01 20:50:29
My cousin Yong

As the most roguish boy of my cousins, Yong was three years older than me. Twenty years ago, there was a fatal accident happened on him nearly stole his life. At that time, Yong was eleven years old.

In the afternoon of a certain summer's day, he was playing shuttlecock with several friends on the ground. After a while, they felt boring playing like that. Yong suggested others to play on the top floor of a residential building, but there was no one dared to do that. They advised Yong not to run the hazard. Instead, Yong didn’t hear others’ advice and went up to the top of the building.

The residential building had six floors and was nearly twenty meters high. More specifically, the roof of the building was a rectangle area with ten-meter long and five-meter wide. There was no fences around the roof, so it was dangerous for people to move closer to the margin of the roof. After climbing on the top roof, Yong shouted loudly in order to

My cousin Yong

As the most roguish boy of my cousins, Yong is(改成is是因为用一般现在时表示一个客观实际) three years older than me. Twenty years ago, there was a fatal accident happened on him nearly stole his life. At that time, Yong was （only加上这个表示强调他只有11岁，不加也可以） eleven years old.

In the afternoon of a certain summer's day, he was playing shuttlecock with several friends on the ground. After a while, they felt boring playing like that. Yong suggested others to play on the top floor of a residential building, but there was no one dared to do that. They advised Yong not to run the hazard. Instead, Yong didn’t follow（改成follow是比较规范的用法 表示遵守谁的建议） others’ advice and went up to the top of the building.

PS:What's your major?

The residential building had six floors and was nearly twenty meters high. More specifically, the roof of the building was a rectangle area with ten-meter long and five-meter wide. There was no fences around the roof, so it was dangerou