请问这段话翻译的水平怎样

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/08 09:36:08
Since it’s close to graduation, I've been moving among the job fairs and interview units. Although there are some results, my heart gradually gets lost. At the year with serious employment environment, as a BA holder, although I’m trained in a promising department of a good university, I find it’s hard to have an opportunity of doing legal work. When I knew I didn’t pass through A-class judicial license examination with 3 points difference, I understood that deprived my chance to being a lawyer's assistant in a law office. I asked myself, would I really like to resign myself to a life by getting an executive work with exhausted daily service and supports? If so, why should I get a law degree after I have already held an English BA, or prepare for the judicial license examination for nearly 4 months? Finally, I decided to apply for further study in Hong Kong X University, in order to continue my study on jurisprudence and leave no regret to my life.

If the author is a layman, I would say it's totally acceptable given he is a non-native English speaker in China/Hong Kong.
However, if he/she is a fellow lawyer/law degree holder, with a BA in English...it needs to be better.

I am not perfect myself, but I would instead translate as follow:

As graduation was coming up soon, I had been attending numerous job fairs and interviews. Although it yielded some results, I was gradually losing my courage. In such a year marked by high umemployment rates, as a BA holder graduating from a promising department of a good university I still found it hard to land on an opportunity to do legal work.

When I found out that I was short of 3 marks to pass the Bar Licensing Examination with A-class (or with distinction), I knew that would certainly undermine my chance of becoming a legal assistant in a law firm. I asked myself, would I be willing to relinquish myself to a life of an over-worked executive, exh