求高手帮我看下这篇求职英语自我介绍可以么？

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/21 12:13:48
Hi,I am glad to be here to introduce myself.My name is ×××,and i am 22 years old.I graduated from Shanghai Business School，software technical cxpertise.
I'm very honored to see th 51 job your company's recruitmen of enlightenment .I am a man warm and generous, serious.For the administrative aspects of the work, I am very interested in .Although no countercpars inprofessional.But I thank interest is the bast teacher.
I usually of interest in the Internet,reading,traverl and so on .Who do not touch things, are also very strong thirst fo knowledge,If you give me a change,will love and is responsible for treatment of the job.
Thank you

开头不够正式。。。
优势说得不够。。。
语法错误帮你订正如下：
Good morning/afternoon,I am glad to be here to introduce myself.

My name is ×××,and i am 22 years old.I graduated from the software technical cxpertise in Shanghai Business School.

I'm very honored to apply for the 51th job in your company,the recruitmen of enlightenment .

I am a warm-hearted, generous and serious man.

I am very interested in the administrative aspect of the work.

Although I am not that professional,I still think interest is the best teacher.

I am of great interest in the Internet,reading,traveling and so on .

I have a very strong thirst for knowledge,and I would like to try it out.

If you give me a chance,I will love the job,and will be responsible for the job.
Thank you

语法错误挺多的。。。看看吧，希望有帮助
祝你成功

I am a warm， generous and serious man

“th 51 job your company's recruitmen of enlightenment