请高人帮忙修改一段话

The city where I was born and grew up in was an industrialized city. So I was always around many industrial things. I use to go visiting a lot of factories with my parents, that was where I became fascinated by the magical world of machines, tools and production lines. Out of curiosity, I began to collect information and seek knowledge about various industrial productions. As I became more matured gradually, I found that managers often complain about the low production efficiency while the employees tend to undertake some unnecessary work. This made me realize that most Chinese manufactors cannot arrange production effectively. It also made me realize how important Industrial Engineering is.

帮你稍稍改了一下...
要注意不要用那么多compound sentence,大多数人更喜欢短而易懂的句子。不要把那么多information都串在一个句子里，很容易让人看不明白的。