歌词翻译（我已经翻译完了，但不够好，求改进）

是杨坤的《那一天》。
右边的都是我尽了力的翻译。
望高人提供炉火纯青的改进版！
(谢绝直译！)
 
 
记得那一天                      i remember the day
上帝安排我们见了面              we first met
我知道我已经看到了春天          that was our wonderful beginning
记得那一天                      i remember the day
带着想你的日夜期盼              when i was missing you so much
迫切地不知道何时再相见          when i was wondering when will i see you again

A:
记得那一天                

楼主翻的已经够好了.除了一个小问题:第一节最后一句,应该把when will i see you again中的i和when位置换一换.~
另全文最后一句很有感觉~~
想了一下,不如换个思路重新译一遍.没有丝毫比较的意思.只是想试试换个思路后的感觉.希望楼主喜欢它~~

there was a day
when i saw a perfect maid
and i knew my spring came
there was a day
when i missed this pretty maid
and hoped she could stay

there was a day
when memories turned into flame
oh,years to wait
i feel teased by my fate
there was a day
when i kept thinking of my maid
suffocated and insane

oh my maid my day
i was hurt like a crying babe
oh my maid my day
hey,how can memory get rotten away?

maybe life is a silly game
beautiful as Californian rain
but never last to ramain
hey,the day you walked away
i think,i had three words to say

记得那一天 i remember the/that day
上帝安排我们见了面 we first met (in destine)
我知道我已经看到了春天 that was our wonderful beginning