跪求四则英文幽默，要有翻译的，不尽感激

1.A Never Finished Job
I was going away for a few days and left my husband a list of chores. For fun, I put down as Item 5: Think about your wife a lot.
After I returned, my husband proudly reported that he had completed every job. When I saw the list, however, each item except No.5 had been crossed off. "What's this!" I exclaimed, "Didn't you think about me while I was gone?"
My chagrin vanished when he replied cheerfully, "I started to, but just never finished."

一直没干完的活
1. 我离开家几天，给丈夫留了个条儿，写下需要做的杂活。为了跟他逗着玩儿，我的第五条写的是：多想念你的妻子。
当我回来后，我丈夫非常自豪地向我汇报，他干完了所有的活。当我看条子时，除了第五条，所有的活都干完划掉了，”这是怎么回事！“我惊讶道，”我不在时，你不想我吗？“
他高兴地说：”我开始干了，不过这活一直还没做完。“这时我的委屈都消失了。-
2.My Husband Just Came in
The couple seated in a restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table, their waiter suddenly rushed over.
"Madam, look," he said. "Yo