谁能帮我看看我写的英语演讲稿，哪里要改进？急，急，急

Follow dream,enjoy life

Ladies and Gentlemen :
I am glad to be here giving a small speech about my dream. As GRS and engine(建议改成Just like...，因为演讲的时候最好不要用太书面的语言) for a car , dream is （the）direction and （the）power for a positive man. （我觉得后面的话跟deram有点远了，要是作铺垫又觉得有点冗长，而且跟前面的话来说有点突然，所以给你加了下transition words） For me，a positive man means he is energitic , confident（confident就可以了，加了self不地道）, （enthusiasm跟energetic差不多一个意思） what’s most important is that he hungers for success. Therefore，in some way, dream directs me to success.

Since young(When I was young) ,I (already)had many great dreams. They all gave me pleasure and passion. My life became so colorful with these beautiful dreams.

(One of then is to become a captain)because (once I can be, I will be powerful and admired).(I) can defend my motherland and have chance to see the sight with a gun on shoulder. (我觉得用‘I’比‘they’好，因为演讲的时候要给别人身临其境的感觉)

（切换的时候最好给点transitional word，让别人觉得你的演讲有条理）