给这篇英语作文提点建议,找找错把

来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/06/01 20:19:04
Toby’s bithday present
Last month, Toby had a birthday party. His parent gave him a presen. It was a mobile phone. Toby liked ti very much.
Toby thought the mobile phone can help him communicate better with other people. He can use ti when he is in trouble or he had something to tell somebody.
At the first, Toby only use it to call his parents. A few weeks later, he found out that the phone has many games. And also, he can send short messages to people. He can’t belive this mobile phone was so nice. One day, Toby received a short nessage from a strange person. It said: " Hello! Are you a boy or a girl ? Ha, you are a lucky person. My name is Jay. Do you know me ? I am very famous. I want to make a friend with you! " Toby was surprised, he liked Jay very much. He is Jay’s fan. So, he wrote a short message quickly. All the evening Toby wrote short messages. He didn’t do his homework. He was excited and very happy. Next day, when he was in calss, every students li

it不是 ti在第一段落第2行

时态、拼写、用词很多都错误的
自己仔细改改吧~~~~

Toby’s birthday present
Last month, Toby had a birthday party. His parents gave him a present. It was a mobile phone. Toby liked it very much.
Toby thought the mobile phone could help him communicate better with other people. He could use it when he was in trouble or he had something to tell somebody.
At first, Toby only used it to call his parents. A few weeks later, he found out that the phone had many games. And also, he could send short messages to people. He didn't think this mobile phone was so nice. One day, Toby received a short message from a strange person. It said: " Hello! Are you a boy or a girl ? Ha, you are a lucky person. My name is Jay. Do you know me ? I am very famous. I want to make a friend with you! " Toby was surprised, he liked Jay very much. He is Jay’s fan. So, he wrote a short message quickly. All the evening Toby wrote short messages. He didn’t do his homework. He wa