帮忙翻译一下《史铁生 我与地坛》中的一段文章

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/24 07:42:10
有一回我摇车出了小院；想起一件什么事又返身回来，看见母亲仍站在原地，还是送我走时的姿势，望着我拐出小院去的那处墙角，对我的回来竟一时没有反应。待她再次送我出门的时候，她说：“出去活动活动，去地坛看看书，我说这挺好。”许多年以后我才渐渐听出，母亲这话实际上是自我安慰，是暗自的祷告，是给我的提示，是恳求与嘱咐。只是在她猝然去世之后，我才有余暇设想。当我不在家里的那些漫长的时间，她是怎样心神不定坐卧难宁，兼着痛苦与惊恐与一个母亲最低限度的祈求。现在我可以断定，以她的聪慧和坚忍，在那些空落的白天后的黑夜，在那不眠的黑夜后的白天，她思来想去最后准是对自己说：“反正我不能不让他出去，未来的日子是他自己的，如果他真的要在那园子里出了什么事，这苦难也只好我来承担。”在那段日子里——那是好几年长的一段日子，我想我一定使母亲作过了最坏的准备了，但她从来没有对我说过：“你为我想想”。事实上我也真的没为她想过。那时她的儿子，还太年轻，还来不及为母亲想，他被命运击

昏了头，一心以为自己是世上最不幸的一个，不知道儿子的不幸在母亲那儿总是要加倍的。她有一个长到二十岁上忽然截瘫了的儿子，这是她唯一的儿子；她情愿截瘫的是自己而不是儿子，可这事无法代替；她想，只要儿子能活下去哪怕自己去死呢也行，可她又确信一个人不能仅仅是活着，儿子得有一条路走向自己的幸福；而这条路呢，没有谁能保证她的儿子终于能找到。——这样一个母亲，注定是活得最苦的母亲。
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我需要以上这两段的英文翻译，翻译课程的辅导资料，有高手吗？

Once I cradle a small courtyard; Think of anything further back, returns to pay close saw his mother standing still in situ, or sent when I walk, the posture of looking at me Shui out of the small courtyard to the corner whatsoever on my back was 1:00 no response. When she saw me go out again when she said : "Activities out, went to look at the book, I say this is very good. "After many years before I began to listen to that remark is actually the mother of self-comfort is secretly prayers. for me a hint that it is the plea and exhortation. Only after her sudden death, I have leisure time envisaged. I was not home when those long time, how distracted she spent hard-ning, concurrently with the pain and panic of a mother minimum pray. Now I can determine, in her intelligence and perseverance in those space down the day after night, That does not sleep in the night after the day that she wanted to go to the final thought he was said to himself : "Anyway, I can not help h