UC知道我写了一篇作文，请大家指导！
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/14 11:41:45
主要看一看有没有语法错误，定语从句用的对不对，还有什么需要改动的（添加，删除等），最好给我加几句难一点的复合句。
My home is far from school.So I take the No.96 Bus to school everyday.Yesterday I was very happy. Because I helped a person.I waited for the bus at the bus stop.Very soon the bus came.I got on the bus.About 5 mintures, an old women who had white hair got on the bus.She looks very tired.So I stood at once,and said to the old women,"Gran.please sit down."She said,"Thank you very much!You're very cute!"I was very happy.I tought helping other people was very happy!
My home is far from school.So I take the No.96 Bus to school everyday.Yesterday I was very happy. Because I helped a person.I waited for the bus at the bus stop.Very soon the bus came.I got on the bus.About 5 mintures, an old women who had white hair got on the bus.She looks very tired.So I stood at once,and said to the old women,"Gran.please sit down."She said,"Thank you very much!You're very cute!"I was very happy.I tought helping other people was very happy!
About 5 minutes后面应该加个later吧
an old women改成an old woman,women是woman的复数和an 矛盾
She looks改成she looked
So I stood at once改成So I stood up at once
the old women改成the old woman
I tought应该是I thought,think 的过去式是thought
我觉得在作文里用定语从句应该用得适当,而不是单纯的为了用定语从句而用,an old woman who had white hair这里如果改成an old woman with white hair读起来会更顺,而且如果作文里用的句子过于复杂可能会得不到你预期的效果
个人观点,仅供参考哦
She looks very tired.过去时吧，looked