我要为女朋友写一首歌，想用英语唱可是。。Help!

楼主，你的英语部分错误太多了，我帮你改过了，另外歌的大意我写了，但有些小的地方按照英语的习惯做了点小修改，另外，你那一句“if why love you”我没搞懂你想表达什么，所以改成了“if you're not my girl”(如果你不是我的女孩)

翻译如下：
You knocked my hreat
when we came cross for the first time
I told myself
you're my chosen

I still remember that rainy day
we shared one umbrella
we walked on your way to stop
we were fun

when I knew that you had had a boyfirend
when I found that you still loves him
I wanna cry,I was crying

if you're not my girl
do not forget my name
I'am a good boy
a little boy who just can't sustain too much

if you're not my girl
Please be my dear firend
although I love you
still love you

I'd like to watch the satr with you
I'd like to go to the moon with you
I 've asked you that if you love me
You said"I don't know"
which really broke me