关于英语自我介绍的一个问题

我觉得关键不是在与众不同，关键在你的英语介绍要准确无误，能够准确的把你要表达的意思传达给别人。同时语言要流畅，别搞一些很蹩脚的中式英语，如果能找到资料的话，尽量参考一些外国人写的纯正的英语，最后千万不要出现一些单词拼写错误等等的低级错误就行。

General Introduction*
I am a third year master major in automation at Shanghai Jiao Tong University, P. R. China. With tremendous interest in Industrial Engineering, I am writing to apply for acceptance into your Ph.D. graduate program.
Education background
In 1995, I entered the Nanjing University of Science & Technology (NUST) -- widely considered one of the China’s best engineering schools. During the following undergraduate study, my academic records kept distinguished among the whole department. I was granted First Class Prize every semester, and my overall GPA(89.5/100) ranked No.1 among 113 students. In 1999, I got the privilege to enter the graduate program waived of the admission test. I selected the Shanghai Jiao Tong University to continue my study for its best reputation on Combinatorial Optimization and Network Scheduling wher