拜托帮我改一下这段英语句子

来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/06/01 22:46:25
我有段英语句子想要大家帮我出主意:

If you don’t care me, I won’t care you;
If you don’t trust me; I won’t trust you.
If I was hurt by you, I will give you all my nonchalance to you
If I don’t want to forgive you, you won’t be my friend again.

这段话我想表达的意思是:

如果你不在乎我,我也不会在乎你;
如果你不信任我,我也不会信任你;
如果你伤害了我,我会给予你我所有的冷漠;
如果我不想原谅你,你再也不会重新成为我的朋友.

但是我觉得我写的英语句子不够好,我想把它改得更像诗那样,最好压韵,但是也不要太难懂,句子最好在短一点,但是准确表达出我的意思的.
唉~~反正就像诗就好啦...

If you don't care about me, I won't care about you either.
If you don't trust me,I won't trust you either.
If you hurt me,I will treat you as a stranger.
If I decide not to forgive you,I will never be friends with you,ever again!

改了一下语法错误。一个是care ABOUT,还有就是你伤害了我,就是you hurt me.现在意思倒是准确,可是
我觉得本身这些句子里存在的问题是,翻译成英文,语态太强硬了。很难把这样情绪的句子写成诗歌哦。

Vicky