英文高手请进！！！（参祥以下内容有什么毛病没有，如有拜托帮忙改一下））

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/14 12:37:17
April 6,2007
P.O.Box 3
zhongshan University
guangzhou,China 510000
Dear Sir／Madame,

With reference to your advertisement in Guangzhou Daily for Surgeon, I respectfully offer myself for the post.
I have been serving for over 5 years in Guangdong Provincial People's Hospital.
So I must to say that I have long been hopeful of working for your hospital after graduation, I am sure that I have the privilege of serving in your hospital, I will greatly increase my experience and my education.
I hope to have the pleasure of your granting me an interview.
I am enclosing a personal data sheet which I think will adequately show you my qualifications.
Sincerely,
Li Ping
（第二段）：
Li Ping
Tel: 020-3721-8037
Email: Li Ping@yahoo.com.cn
Add: No.29 Guangsan Road, Tianhe District, Guangzhong
PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
EDUCATION
Jan. 1996 :
Sun Yat-sen University,Guangzhou, China
M.D.

不敢说自己是高手，只是提供一些参考意见。

"I respectfully offer myself for the post. "我刚查了才知道原来post也有“职位”的意思，但是感觉总是怪怪的，总觉得用"position"会比较自然。如果想让语气看上去更尊敬的话可以把这句写成"I would like to ..."的形式。

"I have been serving for over 5 years in Guangdong Provincial People's Hospital."
首先，这句话没有写明自己的职位，可以用"I have been serving as a/an ... in Guangdong Provincial People's Hospital for over 5 years."
其次，以自我介绍来说这句似乎太短了一些，不能很好的体现自己的专业水平。可以适当增加一些关于自己学历的内容，比如"As shown in the attached document, I got my degree of ...（学位） in Sun Yat-sen University in ...（年份）"之类的，不用怕跟第二段的简历重复，相反这样还能起到着重指出的作用。

"So I must to say that I have long been hopeful of working for your hospital after graduation"
这一句感觉有些突兀，如果能在这句前面加上一两句对这个医院的赞赏的语句看上去会比较合理。不加的话开头的"so"就可以去掉，因为这里没有明确的因果关系。"must to say"的语气有点过强，建议用"would like to say"；"long"可以去掉；"hopeful of working for"可以改成"looking forwar