谁能帮我看看这段英语有错吗

来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/05/25 15:45:30
汉语原文:
多年以后,定居,生活没节奏的小城镇,开一家自己的小酒馆,
多年以后,重逢,半躺在小夕阳下的酒馆里,那里有我们欢喜的原木桌子,
我们欢喜的后摇梦呓,我们欢喜的暗红色纱幔,我们欢喜的drum,我们欢喜的自己,,
多年以后,很多年以后,很多很多年以后,,

英语翻译:
Years later, settled down in a peasefull town, running a small pub.
Years later, met again, half-lying in the pub under the sunset, where our favorite timber-made tables are standing,
Happily, we chat, in the deep red silk tents,the drum we love, ourselves we love...
Years later, many years later, long years later...

这段翻译有什么错误吗,有的话请帮我改改,哪里不怎么合适也请改改~~谢谢了~~~
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这段文章是我幻想以后的~~

Years later, settled down in a peaseful town, running my own small pub.
Years later, met again, half-lying in the pub under the sunset, where our favorite timber-made tables are standing,
the chat we love, the dark red silk tents we love,the drum we love, ourselves we love...
Years later, many years later, many many years later...

首先, 你原文的意思是幻想将来还是陈述过去?

翻译的很好,是歌词还是诗?感觉如果要讲究语言美的话就没必要死扣字眼。我貌似没资格修改。等待高人