请翻译，顺便帮看下这种文章是否太中式

i'd like to describe my most embarrasing moment when i was in elementary school.Once i got a perfect score in a quiz,I was so happy that i was about to tell my parents this good news and they would share this sense of achievement with me. Yet they said nothing,i felt quite depressed at that moment.I extremely believed that they would love me very much all the time.However,maybe they were too busy to notice this little event then.

我要说的是我最尴尬的一刻。那时我在读小学，有一次我在考试中得了满分，我感动高兴，想我把这个好消息告诉我的父母，让他们一起将分享我的成就感。
但他们说没有什么值得高兴的，我在那一刻感到相当地沮丧。
我非常相信他们一直是非常爱我的，也许他们是在生意上过于忙碌以至于没有注意到而已。

当中有一些词用法上有错误！

觉得可以啊
就是在 i feeled quite 这地方 应该是felt 这才是feel的过去式

我准备描述我的最令人尴尬的瞬间.当我上小学时,一次我在测验中得了满分.我太高兴了想告诉我的父母这个好消息并要他们和我分享这份成就感.然而他们什么也没说,那一刻我感到很沮丧.我极为相信他们一直非常爱我.或许那时他们太忙了以至没有注意到这点小事.

这篇短文有些中式英语.