语法修改

succeed 不是 succed
for them to succeed in their college.
加了study好像有点怪...

the most important value - the most important thing
is to succeed their college studies - should be to get their college education

First,it is not a good idea for young people live without another,because the major value for them is to succed finish their study from college.
不知道,你是否想表达：首先，年轻人独立生活不是一个很好的事情，因为他们要把所有的精力都要用来成功的完成他们的学业。

最后的studies改为study，“学业”不可数