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来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/06/04 08:43:22
你的城市要建一个名人的纪念碑或雕塑,你会选择谁?说出详细的原因和具体例子。
Statue or monument, in honor of great men or memorable events, usually stands for fine spirits which include honesty, diligence, freedom, creativity, love, and so forth. Despite the monument and statue vary from country to country, the respect and worship showed from different ethics is exactly the same. Among the celebrities making great contribution to my country, I would choose Yuan Longping to be honored if my city has decided to build a statue or monument.
Reasons can be multiplied easily, and there are the three of the most importance presented following.
In the first place, Mr. Yuan had made a great contribution to not only China but also the world. Yuan Longping is a Chinese agricultural scientist and educator, known for developing the first hybrid rice varieties in the 1970s. The “hybrid rice” is now being grown in dozens of countries in Africa, America, and Asia, providing sufficient food source in high famine risk area

3.5分

总的来说楼主写得不错,结构完整,句子形式多样,论据支持论点(不过第三个理由阐述的不够充分)

其他还是有一些问题存在。比如语法错误,句子与句子间的逻辑关系不够清晰以及用词问题。

【The “hybrid rice” is now being grown in dozens of countries in Africa, America, and Asia, providing sufficient food source in high famine risk areas, which saving almost a trillion people from starving.】
后面which带的从句累赘而且本身有语法错误,应该是which has saved,或者直接把providing句和saving句用and连起来
常识错误:a trillion是一万亿,全世界人口只有六十多亿,差的多了点= =
用millions of people或者almost a billion(十亿) people比较好

【He overcame starving, constant failing and scarcity of financial support.Nonetheless, under no circumstances did he choose to give up, and load off the responsibility of fighting against the famine.】
starving是形容词,overcome后面要跟名词,starving的名词形式是starvation,failing应该改成failure。Nonetheless作为逻辑性的副词用的不对,因为前后句并非转折关系,应该是并列或者递进。

【Not being conventional, he trains another generation of talent in agriculture, patiently and devotedly. 】
这句话有问题,conventio