UC知道雅思作文求批改。
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/26 08:50:35
题目是：
The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences, and only government action can solve the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there is no denying fact that people live in big cities are facing the severe consequences caused by shortage of housing. To try to solve this problem, some people believe that only government action can do. As far as I am concerned, I completely agree with it. For the following reasons.
Real estate is crucial industrial which has close relationship with people’s lives. Government should not completely leave it to the market or let it completely settled by individuals. Government has to take actions and responsibilities to the problem.
On one hand, if the city’s economy is relatively underdevelopment, the money people make just to pay water and electricity bills. Though there is badly shortage of housing, the land agents are still not willing to invest. Government now should s
The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences, and only government action can solve the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there is no denying fact that people live in big cities are facing the severe consequences caused by shortage of housing. To try to solve this problem, some people believe that only government action can do. As far as I am concerned, I completely agree with it. For the following reasons.
Real estate is crucial industrial which has close relationship with people’s lives. Government should not completely leave it to the market or let it completely settled by individuals. Government has to take actions and responsibilities to the problem.
On one hand, if the city’s economy is relatively underdevelopment, the money people make just to pay water and electricity bills. Though there is badly shortage of housing, the land agents are still not willing to invest. Government now should s
上培训班的时候，老师好像说最好观点是两面都写吧。既有正方又有反方。
有些词应该还能替代一下的。比如government
最后一段那个about people live or die。。。好像有点奇怪，不过也不确定，说不定是英语俗语吧，o(∩_∩)o...哈哈
觉得可以多用点被动句。
最后一句，好像也怪怪的，不过我英语语法也不好，只是凭感觉啦~
总体来说写得很漂亮哦，观点也很明晰
nowadays 不要用，考官普遍讨厌这个词
there is no denying fact that 套话，会被扣分
To try to solve this problem 没换，一样的话会被认为没有语言能力
As far as I am concerned 不地道
I completely agree with it. For the following reasons. 句子不完整
Real estate is crucial industrial which has close relationship with people’s lives。 逻辑不够清楚，突兀，并且单词意思不够精确
completely leave it to the market or let it completely settled by individuals 你很喜欢用completely吗？leave it to the market，不是书面语，前后关系脱节
relatively underdevelopment, the money people make just to pay water and electricity bills， 惨不忍睹啊
。。。
4.5到5的水平吧，尤其今年雅思的主观项扣紧了