大家看看这个句子还有什么问题不？

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/04 19:08:47
Lin Hao is a student from Sichuan Province, who is only nine years old this year.
When the Wenchuan Earthquake happened suddenly on May 12th, he saved two students, and then walked with them to safety for seven hours. At last they were all safe. Many people were deeply moved when hearing his story.
Lin Hao is a little hero. He is very brave and never gives up. We all should learn from him!
大家都觉得写的不好，能不能哪位用地道一点的英语修改一下，我考试要用的例子，的确自己英语相当的不怎么样，希望得到大家的帮助，如果哪位能帮忙重新修改一下，我采纳最佳答案作为回报

Lin Hao is a student from Sichuan Province, who（直接用 he 吧，说“他”，who 看着不大对劲）is only nine years old this year.
When the Wenchuan Earthquake happened suddenly on May 12th, he saved two students, and then walked with them to safety for seven hours（"and they walked for seven hours to reach safety and aid"他们走了（我不知道“walked”这个词怎么样，用“hiked”,有点爬山路的意思，会不会更好呢？）七个小时，找到援助，达到安全的地方）. At last they were all safe. Many people were deeply moved when hearing his story.（People were deeply moved and inspired after they heard his story"听到他的故事 之后 （注意过去式，heard，不是hearing）大家非常感动"）
Lin Hao is a little hero (把little去掉吧，在国外，一说little，从来都不觉得正经). He is very brave and never gives up. We all should learn from him!（We should all learn from his bravery 我们都应该向他的勇敢学习）

总体来说写得很好啦~~~
有些人写的东西恨不得我再打一遍……
那个，有点乱，那里不懂，随时可以问我哦~~

never give up
never后面用动词原形

and then walked with them for seven hours until safe
Many people were deeply moved hearing his story.