UC知道帮忙修改一篇简单的英语短文★★
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/19 17:10:57
大家改改错误，修改更好些吧。
包括语法、书写等。
拜托了，请仔细些检查。
还有加分。
原文如下：
A claas, a family
I'm a Grade Nine student from Dong Feng No.5 Middle School. My class, Class One, is not only made up of some techers, 54 students and a classroom, but also the emotions among every student.
Although my class isn't perfect, it just likes a family. Usually, we study hard and help each other. On the sports meeting, we cheered for our players and got good grades. In the tug-of-war, my class showed our power of unity and also became the No.1. I was shocked deeply again and again.
After several months, we'll graduate.But i believe everyone will remain our family in heart forever.
你的小作文语法掌握得相当不错，只是我提出一点修改意见供你参考：
1）I am a student of Grade Nine in **
2)made up of 不如用composed of更好
3）teachers漏了个a
4）emotion表示深厚的感情，是不可数的，所以不要加s
5）从努力学习、相互帮助转到运动会比较突然，时态也一下改了，这里最好有个过渡，What impressed me most is that on ……，如果你们还没有学到过这种句子，就简单加上For example,也好
6）grade是想表达什么呢？如果是成绩，那没必要用复数
7）became不如用won赢得（won是win的过去式），also好像没有必要
8）After several months 不如用Several months later
9）I在句中总是大写，你这里，我相信后面的I应该成大写
10）in heart有两点建议，一是最好要加上their，更重要的是中国人讲留在心里，英语不用heart而是用mind，所以这里宜改为remain our family in their mind forever
以上是就你的原文提出一点修改意见，没增加内容。
A classroom as a family
I'm a 9th grade student in Dongfeng 5th middle school. My class, room number One, is not only including some teachers with 54 students, but also full with the emotions among every student.
Although my class was not perfect, it looked like a family. Usually, we studied hard and helped each other all the time. On the sports field, we cheered for our players and we