谁来帮我检查一下初中英语短文？？？

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/06 15:13:11
Hello everyone, today I will talk about my future.Everyone has a different future, I hope I will be admitted to the ideal of the university, then I will go to enjoy my college life, that’s sounds very good! I have more free than it is now time. I will use them to have a part-time job,save some money. When I graduated, I will be able to have a trip. maybe Paris or Singapore, And may even be in Australia. I will enjoy my free time. When I came back, I will find an interesting job,I will happy to have it. Perhaps you do not think my future is fun, but I do not think so. anyway, I will happily go.
大家好，今天我要谈论的是我的未来。每个人都有不同的未来，我希望我将会考上理想的大学，然后我将去享受我大学的生活，真好！我会有比现在更多的空闲时间.我会利用她们去打一份工,存一些钱.当我毕业后,我将有能力去一个地方路由.可能是巴黎，新加坡
,甚至可能是澳大利亚.我要享受我的空闲时光.当我回来,我就去找一个有趣的工作,快乐地过下去.也许你认为我的未来不太有趣,但我不觉得,无论如何,我会快乐地走下去.
请帮我更改错误 谢谢！！！

（一） then I will go to enjoy my college life 把go to 去掉：then I will enjoy my college life
（二） that’s sounds 改为：that sounds
（三）I have more free than it is now time.改为：
Then I will have more free time.
（四）I will use them to have a part-time job,save some money. 改为：So I will be able to have a part-time job to save some money.
（五）When I graduated 改为：When I graduate。
（六）And may even be in Australia 改为：and even Australia。
（七）When I came back 改为：When I come back。
（八）but I do not think so. anyway, I will happily go. 改为：but I do think so. Anyway, I will happily hold on to my dream.

总之，就是：Hello everyone, today I'm going to talk about my future.Everyone has a different future, and for me,I hope I can be admitted to the ideal of the university, then I will enjoy my college life, that sounds very good! Then I will have more free time. So I will be able to have a part-time job to save some money. When I graduate, I will be able to have