UC知道求改一篇托福作文
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/21 21:55:35
Title: should the government focus more on preserving natural environment and less on economic development?
Nowadays, the government focus more on preserving natural environment and less on economic development. With the rapid development of economy, maybe lots of people would like to choose the economic development for high salaries. But, as far as I am concerned, I agree with focus more on preserving natural environment because of environmental protection, people’s health and guarantee the stability and prosperty of our society.
First, the natural development can lead to the economic development. Imagining that the government keeps a place very beautiful, it can appeal to many visitors here. Then a great deal of stores and hotels must be needed, some people may also find a job. Soon a factory may be built there and follow up with hospitals, schools and so on. So, you see, the natural environment can realize the economic development.
Second, the
太烂了。。。5分满分的话，能得2.5分就不错了
第一段就错误百出：
the government focus more：focus应该是第三人称单数
maybe lots of people would like to choose the economic development for high salaries：“因为高工资选择经济发展”不能用for high salaries,很糟糕的表达
as far as I am concerned, I agree with focus more：agree with后面加名词，此处应为focusing动名词形式
because of environmental protection, people’s health and guarantee the stability and prosperty of our society：请问because从句的谓语动词在哪儿？？
后面的例子也太糟糕：
第一个例子，政府有一篇很美丽的地，你说到最后把工厂都搬进来了，还加个医院，还为人民提供就业，就发展经济了？请问，政府可不可以在一片荒地上做同样的事情呢？这跟保护自然资源一点关系都没有，另外，So, you see太口语化
第二个例子，你的论点是自然资源能让人们健康，但是你的例子是自然灾害会让人们遭到损失，这。。。太没有逻辑了吧
第三个完全不知所云。。。 Without the natural environment we will have no money, no relax, no interest, no sports，没有自然资源我们就没有钱没有休息没有兴趣爱好没有体育活动？？我看你不是英语有问题，是语言有问题。。。
最后一段我就不忍心说你什么了
神作！马上被ETS收为范文！