托福作文 麻烦帮我改改

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/03 21:41:52
Topic 39: do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? with the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly.
With the rapid development of the technology in every field, numbers of big changes have been taken place in people’s lives, they bring a plenty of conveniences and benefits to everybody, including students. As far as I concerned, I do agree the technology help the students in learning.
First and the foremost, the internet is a huge help for the students, nothing can not be find through it and it provides the latest news as well. In the past, most students felt that it waste a great deal of time to obtain the information they need, they must look over kinds of books , even no result in the end. But at present days, they just need press some buttons and click the computer mouse, the answers they want must be offered.
Then, the medium is also a helper to the students, such as CD, DVD, radio, the tea

"they just need "to "press some buttons and click the (just say mouse) mouse, the answers they want must be offered."

"The globalization could let the students acquaint the education or the lives in other parts of the world."
The globalization could acquaint students with ........
You'd better say like this.

your paper is of correct but just looks a bit strange and wordy.I mean it's not the very english way to state.You can do more reading in English when you r idle.And that will enable you to do your paper as English people do.
This's a good article none the less=)

7 points for you
1.do not explain too much
2.do not overwrite
3.write in a way that comes naturally
4.omit the needless
5.mind your spelling
6.do not use idiom(like "last but not least")too much.It gives people a kind of feeling that you have nothing to say,and also are showing something off