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来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/05/28 12:13:49
作文题目:
The unpaid community service should be a necessary part in high college programs (such as helping your neighbor or teaching the children sports or working for the charity).To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Nowadays,in some universities and high schools, the volunteer works such as teaching the teenagers, working for the charity organizations and helping the neighbours, without asking for money, have been placed as a program. Some people worried about whether these activities are meaningful and important. From my own perspective,these unpaid community services play a educational role in students growth and this program should be recognized by more people.

Students can benefit a lot from the unpaid volunteer activities. To begin with, they can perceive the valuable thoughts that do not living for money and feel the happiness of helping others. Specifically, at present some people who is always only concern about themselves and ne

(in the modern days),(volunteer works have been placed as a program in some of the universities and high schools, for instant, teaching teenagers, working for charity organizations and helping neighbours,etc without money been asked.) (But) some people (are) worried about whether these activities are meaningful and important. From my own perspective,these unpaid community services play (an) educational role in students growth and ()should be recognized by more people.

Students can benefit a lot (through) unpaid volunteer activities, (especially for those who are always concerned about themselves and neglecting the feelings of others.) To begin with, they can perceive ()valuable thoughts (of) not (just purely)living for money and feel the happiness (when) helping others. (People who are doubtless will be disliked and eliminated from the team,) as a consequence, (hatred for others and societies will grow and rot inside them.) Therefore, it is essential for students to (be a