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来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/06/22 03:07:12
Network
Network is successful for me in the future. For two reasons I would like to have this job in the future. First of all, Network is easy to earn money. Follow the development of time, Internet will be useful by people. I have good idea for earn money on Internet . I am able to make the website for old games ,then I will attract many visitor I will be able to look for Advertising agent . If more visitors visit my website, I earn more money. In addition, I can offer the games for downland, that I earn money for offer. Also I canmake the Game Online to earn money. About 65% for 12-35 years old wisitors in the world. The young people like to play the Game Online , that I can earn money for Game Equips and Game Pet ect. Also I am interest in Network. I would like to make the website then I may became stronger for website ,I can learn more knowledge for website. To sum up, Network is my best choose job in the future.

1.Network is successful for me in the future.
建议:Network is a field that i think i could excel in it in the future.

2.For two reasons I would like to have this job in the future.
建议: There are two reasons explaining why i'm choosing this field.

3.Follow the development of time, Internet will be useful by people.
建议: As time flies, Internet plays an important role in our daily life.

4. I have good idea for earn money on Internet .
建议: An idea has come to my mind to generate money via Internet.

5.更正: I am able to (publish) (a) website for old games ,then I will attract many visitor(s) (so that) I will be able to look for Advertising agent(s) .

6. If more visitors visit my website, I earn more money.
建议:the more the visitors visit my website, the more money i will earn.

7.更正:In addition, I can offer the games for downland(ing), (indirectly) I (will) earn money (from) (the) offer.